Thursday, May 6, 2010

one year later



I think I may start blogging again. Writing fluidly and with honesty is like a learned language, and unless practiced, one quickly forgets. It’s been a year since i've done this. The words will come back in not too long a time, I hope. You’ll be able to recognize me, and my tone again.


So, here I am. laying in our bath tub, listening to this music, and reconsidering things. Bath tub? Yes, the one spot I find perfect wi-fi in our house. It’s actually quite tranquil, sitting, typing in this oversized tub.


I've been in Portland, Oregon, officially, for just over a year

now. I've accumulated a few more material treasures since moving cross country -- the ones of most value to me now, are the musical ones. I came with a suitcase of clothes, and a few instruments from New York (true immigrant style, might I point out). Now I have a violin, some drums, a glockenspiel I nervously played in front of 20,000 people, my electric guitar, a secret musical room of my own, and in our living room-a lovely piano in tune with the plumbing of the house. With all this, i've written about 5 songs, that I can sing for people, and that feels mighty good.


I feel more brave this year than I have in a long time. Brave because I remain true to myself. Brave because I feel like a woman now, and no longer a child. Brave because I've walked away and forgiven some difficult things; brave because I’m facing myself. Brave, because I’m not afraid to admit that I’m having the time of my life, but also going through some of the hardest days-as I look deep into my Memory Box, and heal the brokenness (props to therapy, and an amazing community of friends and family on the far east coast for that one).


Anyway, this bathtub is starting to get a bit uncomfortable, and I've listened to his song about 5 times in a row now, and it’s hard to be vulnerable for my readers at this point. It will come easier the more I write... with time, dear friends, with time. Thanks for reading. More to come.




PS: My hair is considerably longer since I last wrote. And I think I’ve earned my first wrinkle since then, too. Sweetly, and generously it’s a laugh line...