Portland, Oregon. The Next Chapter.

               "gotta go"
Things People in Portland Say:

1. "Rad"

2. "Stoked"

3. "You should move here"

I'm moving to Portland, Oregon.

I'm joining The Bridge Community.

Wait, didn't Olga recently say "I hate the West Coast, I'd never move there"... ? Yes I totally did; funny how that goes. So, how can I explain it... hmmm.... "It's a pilgrimage"... "A calling"... "Something I know I have to do next"... "I have no choice, it's as clear as daylight that I have to go".

 My year of solitude is over, it's time for community. I miss this girl and want her in my daily life again. I've desired community and community style

 living since I first heard of it in NYC. This is finally happening.

I wrote this litany while at the airport in Chicago, on my way back to Rochester. It's a rather personal confession, but I'm not scared to share it:

Confession, Enter Community (re: PDX)

i am living a life of solitude, and guarded isolation

I must go to community

i am living a life of petty hopes 

I must go to community

i am living a life of needs unmet

I must go to community

i am living a life of vanity and shallowness

I must go to community

I am living a life in need of discipline 

I must go to community

i am living a life of loneliness in a crowd of friends

I must go to community 

i am living a life of destructive, unchecked thoughts

I must go to community

i am living the life of an unhealthy American consumer

I must go to community

i am living a life of financial conflict and monetary slavery

I must go to community

God I desire Accountability

Bring me to community

God I desire freedom from myself and from this land*

Bring me to community

God I desire complete abandon in You

Bring me to community

God I desire deconstruction and construction one million and ten times over, if only to be closer to you. I desire to change five hundred thousands times, if only to be the same as You.

Bring me to community

Your Mercy. Your immutable Nature. Your Grace. Your Promise. Salvation. Love beyond human understanding:

I find these in community.

Amen. Amen. And Allelujah. 

*Chicago, S.Stevens 

-------------------------

I'm selling/giving away my things. Weeping a little. Happy a lottle. This was really unexpected. This is very exciting. It's a pretty big step for me in my comfortable living situation, but I am eager to go in Faith. Faith and I have had a rocky road ... tonight, Michael asked "So, are you estranged from the Church? Or excommunicated?" the answer, "both".  

I'm ready now. Ready to pursue Christianity with Creativity. In an email earlier today, I told Tiffany, "I don't know what I'm doing exactly, but I'm going to do it anyway"

Rochester, you have been so good to me this past (exact) year. Healing above all. I thank you 721 times. You'll always be my American home, and we'll see each other, we'll dance into each other unexpectedly... life is full of wonder and surprises and adventure, isn't it?? it is. it is! it is! oh! "how strange it is to be anything at all!"

Off I go, singing my Gypsy Hymns... 

estimated departure: march 1st, 2009